i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize