why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
