It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize