I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
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I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
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if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He? As in you personified your dick?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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