i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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