I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
