Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
