I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
