My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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