would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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