Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She's the barista slut.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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