I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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