Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
