ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
