i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
