Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
You left your phone here
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