I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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