You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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