i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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