I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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