If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
