haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
