Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
