I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
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I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
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I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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