was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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