So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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