one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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