OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
