Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
