I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
