thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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