Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
