I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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