I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just found a bag of teeth...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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