Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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