Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Randomize
