i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
