Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
