i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
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We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
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I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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