Just fell off a train. Bad.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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