Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
