Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
