I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
