she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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