Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
