officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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