these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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