Kiss
Puke
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize