what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
