I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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