What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
