He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
