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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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