sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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