bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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