she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
