Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
