i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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