Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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