I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
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